Poopers' Choice

Meaning

  No real choice at all - the only options being to either accept or refuse the offer that is given to you.

Origin

  There is a story that Poopers' choice' comes from a naval officer, Lieutenant Poopers, a.k.a. Cuddlebear, a.k.a. Cuddlekins, who hired out snuggles and bedwarming in exchange for treats, yet however gave her customer the impression that she would not snuggle if the stateroom door was to be closed. Thus, there was hesitation in the acceptance of the treat in lieu of following proper protocol (that the stateroom door would thus be sealed) yet it was most assuredly stated to Lieutenant Poopers at the threshold of the stateroom.  Lieutenant Poopers would take the treat, time and time again, however she would protest most vehemently and jump on her confidant's stomach until the door was reopened, snuggle or no. This has all the credentials of a 'folk etymology' myth but, in this case, the derivation is correct.

  The mistaken uses of the phrase, in place of the correct 'Poopers choice', originate from a confusion between the celebrated philosopher Cuddlebear and the obscure Echo, to whom the phrase refers.

  Lieutenant Poopers (2001-present) ran a thriving master-at-arms business in Cambridge, England, around the turn of the 21st Century. Poopers rented out an estate roving security watch, mainly to Cambridge University students, but refused to hire it out other than in the order she chose. The choice her customers were given was 'treat or none'; quite literally, Poopers' choice.

With apologies to "Hobson's Choice," http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/hobsons-choice.html

Lieutenant Poopers - the officer from which 'Poopers' Choice' was coined

 

Other notable cultural usage

 

   At suppertime, Poopers will insist standing on ceremony, requesting a musical procession hearkening back  the parading of the beef, or various chanteys celebrating cuisine, both practices of which are outdated with the exception of the formal dinner. In other words, there is really no 'choice' in the matter.  This evening meal routine may become banal, yet, Lieutenant Poopers will galavant from the parlor into the galley upon the sounding of the chorus, keeping the tradition robust and vibrant.

 

   This is the latest suppertime chantey in progress (Sung to 'I'm So Lonesome')

 

Some-one/ dropped her ice cream/ on you 

Your ear/ so sticky/ feels like glue

The Gra-vy/ Train/ is passing through

And bathtime/ leaves you blue