STEVEN SEAGAL ENERGY DRINK HAIKU NO. 3

CRISP EFFERVESCENCE

DEADLY MOVEMENT BREAKS YOUR BONES

SUBLIMATE IMPULSE

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“I have made a lot of mistakes. But I've worked hard. I have no fear of death. More importantly, I don't fear life.” ~ Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal energy drinks in hand!

Update 3: Another bad-a$$ed fan tribute! Man, these get me pumped!



Update 2: Steven Seagal parody with Lightning Bolt! It's awesome, the people you meet online.



Update 1: Lightning Bolt commercial! Damn, it feels GOOD to be a part of pop culture history!


 It's a lotta great things goin' on in the kitchen!


Still Life a l' Celebetaire (Bachelor Still Life), by Cagey.  Every
item in this composition has profound meaning.  For example,
the A. Palmer ice tea is on hot standby for 50/50 Vodka mixture. 

 
















   I've been waiting for this moment for years, my Steven Seagal energy drinks have finally arrived. It's a cannon blast of motivation.



   I also wired my fridge to play "Winner Takes It All' by Sammy Hagar when I open it.

I am so totally stoked right now!

   Just purchased: Six (6) cans of RARE, out-of-production Steven Seagal energy drinks.  Not only it is a chance to peacock in front of the world, it's come to me not to remarket them, but to share them for the good of humanity.  Part of the appeal is bedrocked not only in my own association with the Seagal name, but I feel I'm elevating in the social strata, wait 'til I bust these puppies out at work.  However, Steven does not want me to be greedy.  Steven does not want me to be vain.  Yes, Steven.  I obey.

   Some of the summaries on the web are hysterical:

ROUND 1: ASIAN EXPERIENCE
SUMMARY: Fruit-flavored genocide in a can.

"After I bought my 16 oz can of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt, Asian Experience flavor, I took a long moment to examine the shiny black can, looking for any information that would prepare me for the power I was about to receive. Instead of fully describing the design, I'll just ask you to do this: Picture in your mind what the packaging of an energy drink made by Steven Seagal would look like. Yep, that's about it."
"Inappropriate use of Chinese symbols? Check. Barely coherent copy on the back? Check. Bizarre 'Asian' ingredients? Check. Picture of Steven on the front that looks like it was taken in 1987? Check." - http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/Steven_Seagal_s_Lightning_Bolt.aspx

   Considering trademarking my own energy drink with a friend, and retiring early.  The goofier it sounds, the more inner clarity the plan has - I'm not much of a risk-taker anymore, but doing this could actually yield something good.  Look at Michael Savage's son who founded the Rockstar beverage brand.  Look at the popularity of Red Bull.  So, energy drink brewmaster:  That's the fourth built-in redundancy in the Cagey strategic plan (if that and all other retirement plans fail, it's off to professional body-building and selling out my blog by installing Google AdSense).  Moreover,  I need a frickin houseboat, like, yesterday. 

   PICS WILL FOLLOW IN ONLY A MATTER OF DAYS...

Charges dropped against Steven Seagal

On the heels of the news that the harrassment extortion suit against him was dropped, Steven Seagal will debut in a new show. The same jour-nihilists that ran with the story of indictment should now be proclaiming Seagal's innocence from the rooftops. But - social irresponsibility and the media go hand in hand, and we can only hope that as the media rolls around in dirt, the public will question and interrogate the motives instead of blindly believing.

Bonus: Quote of the day

"Steven Seagal goes through more phases than Barbie. So far, we've seen Mafioso Seagal, Reggae Musician Seagal, Environmental Activist Seagal, Gangsta Seagal, Asian Seagal, Jimmy Buffet Seagal, and Southern Lawman Seagal. It looks like his Southern phase is going to extend just a bit longer, with the news that Seagal will topline the TV crime procedural 'Southern Justice'."

- Wookie Johnson, Screen Junkies.

BREAKING NEWS: Steven Seagal stars in new t.v. series "Lawman"

This is not a drill!

http://www.aetv.com/steven-seagal-lawman/

Catch the show Wed., Dec. 2 at 10 p.m. on A&E.

This news rekindled an old passion in me in trying to obtain his brand-name energy drink, which I am poring over the internet for high and low.

I can see it now: "OMG, I'm being arrested by Steven Seagal!"
Awwwwww YEAH!!!

Related articles:
1. http://makalakapisei.blogspot.com/2009/04/some-winning-advice-from-steven-seagal.html
2. http://makalakapisei.blogspot.com/2008/12/mini-review-of-film-kill-switch.html

3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Seagal's_Lightning_Bolt (Wow, there's even a Wikipedia entry on this now?!)

Some winning advice from Steven Seagal

In case of emergency: Break out Steven Seagal quote:

"Superior state of mind, superior mental attitude."

I don't like all-nighters anymore, but I have to summon some Seagal-like qualities to finish these two papers in ten hours.

Mini-review of the film 'Kill Switch'

Yes, go rent it already.

How could someone be a registered member of the Seagal forum and then just go off and call Kill Switch a bad movie? It was a blast. I loved Steven's "ghetto south" persona and accent. The directing/production was pretty cutting edge for the established limits of the film (don't think this was a theatrical release vice a home entertainment release). The story was entertaining and not just "pulp." Music, lighting, sets, acting, everything deserves a healthy critical eye, not a slam like "This movie was bad."

The best was the climax - the rock 'em sock 'em boss fight at the end - unnecessarily extreme and a atrociously joyous surprise. Justice is a dish served best with ball peen hammers. Noticed the film was done in Canada - has this been the norm lately?Thank you Steven & co. for another fantastic film.