I am so totally stoked right now!

   Just purchased: Six (6) cans of RARE, out-of-production Steven Seagal energy drinks.  Not only it is a chance to peacock in front of the world, it's come to me not to remarket them, but to share them for the good of humanity.  Part of the appeal is bedrocked not only in my own association with the Seagal name, but I feel I'm elevating in the social strata, wait 'til I bust these puppies out at work.  However, Steven does not want me to be greedy.  Steven does not want me to be vain.  Yes, Steven.  I obey.

   Some of the summaries on the web are hysterical:

ROUND 1: ASIAN EXPERIENCE
SUMMARY: Fruit-flavored genocide in a can.

"After I bought my 16 oz can of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt, Asian Experience flavor, I took a long moment to examine the shiny black can, looking for any information that would prepare me for the power I was about to receive. Instead of fully describing the design, I'll just ask you to do this: Picture in your mind what the packaging of an energy drink made by Steven Seagal would look like. Yep, that's about it."
"Inappropriate use of Chinese symbols? Check. Barely coherent copy on the back? Check. Bizarre 'Asian' ingredients? Check. Picture of Steven on the front that looks like it was taken in 1987? Check." - http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/Steven_Seagal_s_Lightning_Bolt.aspx

   Considering trademarking my own energy drink with a friend, and retiring early.  The goofier it sounds, the more inner clarity the plan has - I'm not much of a risk-taker anymore, but doing this could actually yield something good.  Look at Michael Savage's son who founded the Rockstar beverage brand.  Look at the popularity of Red Bull.  So, energy drink brewmaster:  That's the fourth built-in redundancy in the Cagey strategic plan (if that and all other retirement plans fail, it's off to professional body-building and selling out my blog by installing Google AdSense).  Moreover,  I need a frickin houseboat, like, yesterday. 

   PICS WILL FOLLOW IN ONLY A MATTER OF DAYS...