18 October 2011


The most difficult thing I ever had to do? Being the guy who never won in "tag", I used to think it was making the soccer team, and wanting to quit everyday after practice but not following through. Never having had the pleasure of having to run very far, we did these brutal things called "120s" in which we'd sprint to one end of the field (120 yds.) and then jog back, rest a few seconds, and do it again. Exhausted and dehydrated, we'd go to 7-11 after and load up on Snapples, Gatorades, and chug-a-lug. --- However, no, I think one of the tough things was listening to a tape of my late pa, who with me presumably on his knee at the time said, "We'll never abandon you." That tape sat on my desk for months since the first time I tried to listen to it, the second wasn't so bad. I guess I have never had a good sense for time, how it heals and restores. History has always seemed so abstract to me outside of the moment. Five years ago, ten years ago, the 200+ years of the U.S. I read about in books (just finished reading about President Hamilton's and Vice President Burr's pistol duel - Good Heavens, how does time obscure these things?) and the 2,000+ years A.D. Abstract, but all very real, the sum of those events ending in today. Just some half-finished thoughts, but I promised myself I'd get this put down, and what I set out to say is buried somewhere in the middle.

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