Unplugged

They just can't comprehend

I made a bunch of heads a$$-plode at the local cable company - they just couldn't comprehend: As of the 9th January, I have liberated myself from cable television, a.k.a. the boob tube, a.k.a. the idiot box. No plans for now to buy the digital receiver, once offered for free by the government. Feels great. I'm not trying to be ironically hip, either.  Do hipster wannabes also do this?  I hope not.  Got myself a new magazine subscription.  Have a backlog of books that demand to be read.  What was the last straw? 

I will admit that t.v. will be can be a luxury.  Firstly, I have never permitted t.v. in my bedroom.  I have a radio in there - a t.v. set would interfere on my concentration on - sleeping.  If you have a t.v. or especially a computer you work on in your sleeping quarters, be wary, somewhere I picked up that it's not that healthy.  Now, when I visit friends or the Mudville Sports Bar of Broken Dreams, t.v. will definitely be something to behold with awe.

They tried to keep me.  A literate-sounding man from D.C. called me, "Customer Relations".  He offered to drop ten dollars off my monthly bill.  Finding him undeterred, I served him up with the unabridged version of my diatribe on the insipid Kardashians slutfest hour, the addition of the Oprah Winfrey Billionaire Self-love Network, the 4/24 of my channels being QVC, 2/24 being public access, and et cetera.  I should have tacked on how much I think 'Animation Domination' is a steaming pile and some added some Idiocracy anecdotes for good measure (The most celebrated t.v. show in the year 2212 is "Ow, My Balls"). Or how about the 3-year-old on ABC's 'Modern Family' who will be using the f-word in defiance of decency standards in broadcasting? (STORY: http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=7940) Corrupting babies, yeah, the Godless generation is a fan. Pretty twisted if you think about it. I told the customer loss rep that he sounded like he'd been to college.  (Unlike the rank and file customer service rep, he was one of the elite Praetorian ones.)  He said he went to George Mason.  He must have been young and unspoiled, my intuition told me he was truly interested in keeping me as a customer.  I don't know the motive, unless he was under duress.  Feasible.

In 'Idiocracy', a t.v. viewer of the future watches "Ow, My
Balls" while beset by continuous advertising