"Champain tastes" - *slang experimentation zone*

Couture

I remind you all of a little secret:  I'm a producer, I make things happen.  It's a lot of girls out there trying to equate couture with culture, but this isn't France.  What the hell, don't they even know how to spell?  We do it up American style. And I learn a lot of phraseology from New York YouTube videos. 

You know how we do it; salute when you see money. Looking like money, indulging in city life.  I was dabbling a bit in the murky underworld of online dating and I found a fellow hopeless romantical that professed a palpabul taste for the finer thingys in life.  Thus, her headline, "Champain tastes". There's nothing wrong with the 50 lb. bag of irony involving the modern spelling of the word; in fact, it's a lot of people that wonder how to even get things that romantical at all.  U R probably wondering if a relationship with someone use to exquisite things is attainable.  This fair lady has made no pretense of her desire for the finer things in life, and Stan would have to get hurt for trying to out-pimp the original pimp. (Credit: my long-time friend 'Blood Dragon') 

According to "dat grl", here's some things you can do to upgrade your swag and hopefully give a little taste of the old world style (pre-1980).  Doin' my gentsklman shiate, a lot of people don't have the savoire faire, but I take exception with people who don't like double-breasted suits.  Step up your savvy.

"Take her to a very nice hotel, then @ night take her to a nice romantic dinner(have crab), have the imployes at the hotel cover your room with candels and rose peddals white and red, a glass of champain, smooth music(lets get it on) chocolet covered strawbarrys, whipped cream, in the champain glasses make sure you have frozen blue barries in them cuz it makes the champain taste extra sweet. and make sure you have her outfit put out on the bud for her to put on langerie and make it red."

Always da hopeless romantic, I recently scoured the infotainment machine for some advice on a fondue.  I want to impress some seafood-eatin' biatches. This is what my peeps had to say:

Champain tastes

Crab (or surimi, its a heavy dip, doesnt matter too much), artichoke hearts, mayo, cream cheese, parmesan cheese, garlic powder, salt, pepper...

Some combination of those, oven safe dish, 15-20 minutes @ 350 until bubbly.

And to all the haters telling me to put "GHB" (I looked that up, that means date-rape drugs) in my crab dip or frontin' my style, well, bugger off!!